At an already difficult time, the task of notifying people about a death is one of hardest things to do. We hear families share their angst at getting it right both in terms of who to tell first, but also what to say and where.
Here’s our advice for sharing the news of a death.
Who’s first?
Start by those closest to the person who’s died. Immediate family and close friends are usually first to hear and often this is done by a phone call or in person. If you want to control who they share the news with, it’s important to make it clear as early as possible.
Next is the wider group of family, friends, neighbours and colleagues. Phone calls, WhatsApp and email are good channels to use to reach a large number of known contacts. Consider delegating this responsibility to someone you trust. Not only can that help share the emotional burden, it may take longer to reach everyone in this group.
After this stage, news may be shared in different ways including:
Newspaper Notice
Still used by many families, traditional newspaper notices appear in dedicated columns and follow a set format to convey details of a death. These are charged per word and can be found in UK national broadsheets and regional weekly titles. A newspaper obituary is generally reserved for someone significant or a public figure and often will have been pre-recorded with the permission of the deceased.
Social Media
It’s very common for families to draft a social media post on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn which can be shared, tagged with relevant contacts and pushed to many associated layers and networks. It’s quick and effective, reaching people you may have overlooked or not had direct contact details for. And it’s two-way so people can rapidly respond with condolence messages.
Online obituaries
Website obituaries are hosted by your funeral director on their website and these too can be linked to social media styled obituaries and notices or URLs shared as a link. We use these to convey specific instructions or guidance for funerals including dress codes, preference for flowers or not, celebration of life events or directions for charitable donations.
Like social media, viewers can post condolence messages which are automatically stored for future reference and reflection.
After the funeral
There are a range of organisations that will need to be informed of a death. When a death is formally registered, it’s common for the registrar to refer families to the Tell Us Once service. This is a service that automatically updates public organisations from the tax and passport offices to DVLA and local authorities using the death certificate provided. Life Ledger is a private sector alternative that covers banks, utilties, telecomms company and many more.
For advice on managing the administration after a funeral, go to: